What I’ve learned from a week in isolation
We’re at the end of the first week of isolation, and boy has it been a rollercoaster of emotion. I’ve had lots of tears trying to work out what the bloody hell is happening, managing scary thoughts of what is to come and beginning to see the good that may come from all of this.
Friday night, my dear friend Alice Stolz sent me this Harvard Business Review article. Sat on the sofa I grabbed a big red wine and read it out loud to Dave, crying through the whole thing. It perfectly articulated all my tangled, messy feelings and gave me permission to feel what I needed to.
It was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and has shifted the way I think about this situation, so I wanted to share a few of the things that stood out to me:
- What is this sad feeling? This situation is making us all feel one of the deepest and saddest emotions possible — grief. Not only immediate grief for what is happening right now, but collective anticipatory grief for what is to come. It is not normal in any way to feel these both at once, across the world, for so long. Grief isn’t just in relation to death, it can be that deep feeling of sorrow we have in relation to any situation.
To manage this, we must stay present. Remember what we can control and not think too far ahead. Meditation is the best tool we have for this. Deep, slow breathing that allows you to focus on the here and now.
Here is a great little mediation to try by Laura Kelly.
2. Take it easy. Give yourself permission to do nothing at all. We have more time at home, but that doesn’t mean we need to fill that new space we have with anything. Don’t feel the pressure to soak every minute of this time in creating, learning and growing. It’s great if you do feel inspired, but remember, every spare moment doesn’t need to be on the phone, calling people, doing puzzles, reading. It is a lovely time to start that new hobby, or call and old friend, but it is also fine to just stop, be still, just be.
Oh and get loads of sleep.
3. Feel the feels. We are the first generation to have feelings about our feelings. I have been feeling so guilty about being sad about everything that is happening in the world. Guilty, because what right do I have to be sad, when people are so much worse off than me? When nurses and doctors are risking their lives? When people have lost their jobs? The key to this is that we must give ourselves space to feel that first emotion, let yourself feel that sadness, or it will get locked up within us. The word ‘motion’ is in emotion, we must let emotions freely run through us, always.
The article got me thinking about the last stage of grief — acceptance. Those fleeting moments when I haven’t felt a bit lost, or scared or angry, I have been able to breathe and embrace this situation rather than fight it.
I thought I’d keep a list of some of the simple little things that I’ve done with the extra time. The little things that have added a bit of happiness to my week.
- Yoga conference video calls in 5 time zones.
Yoga classes on Zoom with my friends from my yoga teacher training in India, online classes with teachers from my beloved Barry’s Bootcamp and BodyMindLife, it has shifted the way I think about why I ‘need’ to exercise. It is one of the things we are allowed to go out and do whilst isolated, so I have made a commitment to myself to make sure I move every single day. It is incredible the sense of connection you can feel to so many people, so far away, through a computer screen.
2. Being a vulnerable human at work.
This week has been the hardest emotionally at work across my whole career. We’ve had Hangouts where we cried. We’ve been moving so fast every processes we usually rely on fall away. As a team we’ve had no choice but to be open, totally vulnerable and pitch in to support each other to get through the challenges and take each day as it comes, and as a result, we feel stronger than ever.
3. Ate every meal at home.
I can’t ever remember doing that! I can be really naughty in the week grabbing a Barry’s shake for brekky, or Taco Tuesday… literally any excuse to go out usually. At the moment, nourishment has become the focus of our day. Planning 3 big healthy meals (with less healthy treats) has been fun and weirdly have absolutely loved knowing what is going into everything I eat.
4. Hosting virtual parties across the world.
Thank god for technology. How good is it taking the time to play an online quiz with your family, or put on some fancy dress and catch up with old friends? Houseparty is everyone’s new fave app that has gone from 130k downloads to over 2 million in a month — isolation has fuelled connection. There is also a serious internal peace at the lack of FOMO right now. We’re all at home, there is nowhere else to be.
5. Support local businesses.
This week was two good friend’s birthdays. It made me feel sad I couldn’t see them and celebrate, so I found a couple of small businesses to support that have adapted their services so they can keep operating. My favourite local bookshop Gertrude & Alice asked me to describe my friend, and together we picked a book for her on the phone, they then hand-delivered them the book and cake by hand. The adaptability of small businesses is so impressive, I’ve been checking out a few of my favourites to see if they are still open and how I can support.
I’m going to try and do this for myself every week. Write down everything I’m thinking and feeling. I feel the more we can open up, be honest, the better we will all be as we navigate through all of this.
Let’s find the magic on the inside ✨
A couple more resources I loved this week:
SMH Good News Stories — a Facebook page set up purely for Good News
